In order for healing to start to take place, people that are involved must first face the reality of the situation and own up to their part of what caused the situation in the first place.  So if we are talking about health care, we must look at the cause of why there are people in this country without health care and what has caused it over the years.  This issue alone is a clear demonstration that the nation as a whole is hurting and needs to be healed.  If we are talking about the overdose of recent extramarital affairs, in order for those relationships to heal, each party involved must be able to own up to their contribution to the breakdown of the relationship.  The news media will angle the story as one being the monster or the guilty perpetrator and the other as the innocent victim.  But in truth, both parties are responsible for the breakdown in the relationship.  However, the responsibility is not necessarily equal.  In some cases, the responsibility may be 50-50.  In other cases, it may be 95-5.  This is in many cases equivalent to what the media considers the innocent victim situation.  Let’s specifically look at the situation with Jesse James and Sandra Bullock.

Here is Jesse James, the owner of West Coast Choppers who is married to Sandra Bullock, famous actress who recently won the Oscar for Best Actress from the movie, The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock, who is considered, “the girl next door star” has found her acting career at an all time high with a seemingly blemish-free image that America seems to love dearly.  But outside of being a former Texas cheerleader in high school, very little is known about her, which is a tribute to her for keeping her personal life out of the limelight.  Then there is Jesse James who fame has come from building motorcycles and his most recent appearance on the Apprentice. He is a quiet, laid back guy who somehow due to his dress and appearance has taken on a “bad boy” image.  Now there are allegations that Jesse James has had extramarital affairs with as many as four other women.  US Weekly has plastered him with the headline, “Married to a Monster.”  People magazine has victimized Sandra Bullock with the headline, “Inside Sandra’s Heartbreak.”  The Hollywood entertainment community promotes it as the highlight of her career overshadowed by her husband’s scandal and her personal life now laid out in magazines.  Needless to say, the ladies involved in contributing to this affair are immediately demoralized by the media and setup for 15 minutes of fame only to be tossed out once the damage has been completed.  This is made obvious when the first question from the media is “Will she divorce him?” But is this situation all on Jesse James?  Is it possible that Sandra Bullock could have something to do with what Jesse James did?  Did she neglect him or verbally abuse him in some way? My point earlier was that if it comes to a broken relationship, it is a result of the contributions of both parties.  Now by no means am I suggesting that this situation is a 50-50 contribution.  Also by no means am I trying to justify what Jesse allegedly did. This has the signs of a 95-5 contribution (95% Jesse James, 5% Sandra Bullock).  We as a society can only speculate, but we don’t know.  The point I am trying to make is to pray that they will be able to heal, because the situation is a travesty for both of them.  But in order for them to heal, each person has to confess to their contribution to the broken relationship.  Whatever Jesse James did to create the mess they are in, he has to confess and repent to Sandra, himself, and to the Lord God the Creator for his wrongdoing (all 95% of it if that is truly the case).  Then Sandra must confess the little (5%) of what she may have done, whether intentionally or subconsciously, to create the broken relationship.  One thing is for certain, this situation did not just occur overnight or just after the Oscars.  This relationship has been manifesting into its broken state for a while.  I hope and pray that the media will relax their stance to allow them to fix it and heal as opposed to driving them straight towards divorce which does not benefit anyone. The same applies for Tiger Woods situation and any other marital relationship that is struggling through some sort of brokenness.

www.robertfnewkirk.com

More critical thoughts will be forthcoming!

Later this week, we will be going into a version of critical thinking that I would like to entitle as The Chu Effect. The Chu Effect is an acknowledgment of the author of the thoughts, Mr. Danny Chu, Director of Digipixart in Fairfax, VA (www.digipixart.com). I have had many conversations with him in a short period of time, and within that time, I have come to consider him a master critical thinker. Some of his ideas will be presented here.